Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Night Football

Mon: 231 lbs.

Need to go running badly. My beer belly's bringing me down. But anyway, the Saints play the Patriots tonight on MNF. This one is huge, and i really want to celebrate with some beers tonight, rather drown my sorrows in said beers. So fuck you Pats! Who Dat?!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Underrated: Faith No More's "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime"

So, since it's raining here, and the powers that be apparently do not want me to run (thanks big guys), here's a little bit about this horrifically underrated album.
Everyone knows Faith No More for their giant radio hit "Epic" from 1989's "The Real Thing." By 1992, the boys released "Angel Dust," which while it didn't hit the glammy rap-rock peaks of their hit, progressed into unforeseen territories due to Mike Patton's growing involvement in the song writing process. Rumor has it that guitarist Jim Martin was phoning in his parts, not wanting to be in the same room as Patton. "Angel Dust" went on to be a highly tauted influence on a lot of emerging bands (unfortunately, a lot of those bands came from the nu-metal movement, but i'll forgive Faith No More for that).
1995. Cobain is in the ground, and the musical landscape he unintentionally created has become a cultural wasteland of Goo Goo Dolls and Collective Souls. Enter "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime." Jim Martin is gone, and guitar duties are now in the hands of John Zorn contributor Trey Spruance. Gone are the rap-rock posturings and day-glo clothing. The record consists of 14 tracks that run the gauntlet of musical tastes and styles. It feels more radio friendly, yet more experimental at the same time. It's a mix of prog rock, metal, lounge, punk, noise, and then closes gloriously on "Just A Man" with a gospel choir.
With Mike Patton now behind the wheel, the band were able to take on the much more experimental path they had begun to forge with "Angel Dust." And that's a good thing. Of course the album bombed. No one bought it. Radio play was menial. Critics turned their noses up. And long time fans of the band cried "shenanigans!" And that's bullshit. It's the perfect companion piece to "Angel Dust." People criticized the lyrics, especially on "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies." Look at the title. If your expecting James Joyce, you're an idiot. Faith No More's lyrics have always been stupid. How is "Don't you look so surprised, happy birthday fucker," any crappier than "It's it, what is it? It's is, what is it," or "Surprise, you're dead?" The answer, it's not. You don't listen to a Faith No More album (or anything by Mike Patton for that matter) for the lyrics. You listen to it for awesome prog rock inspired madness.
So, if you gave up on Faith No More after "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime," go back and listen to it again, unbiased. Or if you know nothing about the band except for "Epic," now's the time to check the record out...and "Angel Dust" too. Who knows, maybe you'll dig it and move on to Mr. Bungle or Patton's collaborations with avant saxophonist John Zorn, or maybe you'll just listen Lady GaGa like usual. I'm not judging.

So much food

Sat: 230 lbs.
Sun: 227 lbs.
I've eaten so much in the last 5 days: tacos, BBQ, meats and cheeses, turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato souffle, fudge, pies, and on, and on. I gotta go run tonight, but i'm totally going to eat some tacos from Enchiladas Y Mas first. Oh yeah.

I'll be back later.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving nears

Tues: 230 lbs.


Just picked up a new 7" by Ganglians and another by James Pants. Also grabbed a vinyl copy of The Pixies' "Surfer Rosa" (i just had to), the new Yeasayer 12" single for "Ambling Alp," and a new 12" by Zombi.

Oh, and check out "Unexpected Guests" by MF Doom (i know he's had his MF removed, but it's force of habit). It's a compilation of non-album tracks he's done over the years. Fucking awesome!

If i miss ya before Turkey Day, eat a ton for me!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Top 10 Favorite TV Shows

Mon: 230 lbs.

So, i don't really watch that much television, although i will go through spurts, and i was pretty much glued to the screen when i was a kid, but i thought i'd do some serious soul searching and tally up the programs that i absolutely adore (in an i can watch them over and over type way). And here they are in no particular order:

1. "MTV's The State"
The State is quite possibly my favorite show of all time. It started when i was 14 or 15 years old and molded my sense of humor into the absurdist retard throwing rocks that it is today. Only The Simpsons rivals it's all out effect on me and the random references i make in everyday conversation. "I wanna dip my balls in it," indeed.
2. "The Simpsons"
This should be fairly obvious. 20 years later and it's still fucking hilarious. And i can't really think of any other show that is still brilliant even in it's off years (I'm looking at you Saturday Night Live).
3. "Twin Peaks"
So fucking weird, but so fucking good. This is David Lynch's masterpiece. Fuck his films (and that's really hard for me to say), Twin Peaks is practically perfect, and will drive you insane since it was cancelled on a cliffhanger.
4. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"/"Angel"
So i'm cheating a little by putting these 2 shows as one selection, but come on. Characters moved from one show to the other, instances on one show would have ramifications on the other, and while the themes and moods of the shows varied, the sense of humor and brilliance of Joss Whedon shines on both equally.
5. "Freaks and Geeks"
Only 18 episodes of glory. We all overlooked this gem (myself included) and that only makes cancellation harder to swallow. Judd Apatow. James Franco. Seth Rogen. Linda Cardelini. Busy Phillips. Jason Segel. Martin fucking Starr! Everyone on this show was the shit. And we're all finally realizing it.
6. "South Park"
South Park will eventually rival The Simpsons for it's longevity and consistency. 12 years later, i still laugh my ass off, and we need someone to constantly push the boundaries of good taste. I can think of no other show that would have the balls to shove Paris Hilton up some one's ass, mock Christopher Reeve, use the word "fag" over and over again to prove a point, or put 2 crippled kids in a fist fight. Fuck yeah!
7. "Quantum Leap"
Going back to childhood for this one. My absolute favorite show as a kid, i waited every week to see who Sam was gonna be this time. They may have jumped the shark when he leaped into Lee Harvey Oswald, or a vampire, or Dr. Ruth, or a 16 year old version of himself, but dammit, it was fun.
8. "Mr. Show"
Continuing in the tradition of The State, absurdity reigns supreme. Bob Odenkirk and David Cross continue to make me laugh now, but cock ring warehouse commercials, shitting at a restaurant dinner table, and a sausage-bodied super fan declaring himself the coolest kid in the world are still some of the funniest sketches i've ever seen.
9. "News Radio"
Dave Foley, Stephen Root, Phil Hartman, Andy Dick, Maura Tierney, Joe Rogen, Vicki Lewis, and Khandi Alexander did some of the best work of their careers on this show. It's still funny 10 years later.
10. "Lost"
I thought this show was gonna be stupid, but i watched the first episode out of mere curiosity. I've been hooked ever since. One more season to go, and i really don't need answers. Just give me some hints.
There are plenty of runners up, but i don't feel like listing them. Well, okay, "King of the Hill," "Arrested Development," and "The Muppet Show." You're all good too.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Tomorrow, I start a bunch of random, meaningless lists. Hooray?

Sun: 230 lbs.

It's now been over 2 weeks since i last worked out, due to an abomination known as a "mild flu" or "bad cold." And while that's kind of awesome, it's what our Spanish speaking friends would call, "No Bueno." Time to get back on that horse (ie, my tennis shoes) and run til i puke.

Speaking of puke, we totally just finished eating some Hamburger Helper. My wife said she had never had it before. I, on the other hand, grew up eating the stuff. So, yes it's true. My wife married below her station. This is how the other half live. (I'm exaggerating of course. Hamburger Helper is really fucking easy to make, and it's really not bad. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking snob, and you should stomp on his or her testicles or ovaries.)

Oh, yeah, and i'm starting a bunch of stupid lists tomorrow. I'm sure you've always wondered what my favorite 100 albums are. No? Well, you're gonna have to read it anyway.

Friday, November 20, 2009


Fri: 231 lbs.

I've got nothing. Probably just gonna watch movies tonight. Workin for the weekend, and not in a cool 80's Loverboy montage type way, but rather in a mundane, sitting in an office, unable to watch college football type way.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I just got off a 12 and a half hour shift of work. Fuck you.

Am i pooping in this picture? You decide.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mexican Summer

Tues: 232 lbs.
Wed: 227 lbs.

Washed Out - "Life of Leisure" EP
Bipolar Bear - "Harlem Pripyat" LP
Them Crooked Vultures CD
Big Business - "Here Come The Waterworks" CD

"Southern Comfort" - Weekend warriors get butchered in a Louisiana swamp by some angry Cajuns.
"Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia" - Warren Oates bloodies up the Mexican countryside in this Sam Peckinpah classic.

"Snuff" by Chuck Palahniuk
"Pigeon Feathers" by John Updike

If you've got a vinyl boner like me, go check out Mexican Summer (an offshoot of Kemado Records) for some awesome records. If it's not in stock, check out your local independent music store or ebay if you're desperate. Shah!

Monday, November 16, 2009

A hibernating bear awakens after several days

I've lost count of what days i missed with the weight update, but for today,
Mon: 232 lbs.

I guess you don't lose weight when you're eating your mom's food for a day. Ahh, bacon, sweet, sweet bacon, how i missed thee. So, still reeling from the cold/flu (although no swine were to be found), and i haven't worked out in over a week. Feeling a little bit like a bum, but hey, what do you do?

Longhorns still undefeated. Booyah! Saints still undefeated. Booyah again! And the Colts beat the Patriots last night in 4 of the finest minutes of football i've ever seen. 4th and 2! Booyah!

(I'm gonna stop saying "booyah" now. I don't think it really works for me. How about Cowabunga?)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I'm sick. It sucks.

Tues: 232 lbs.
Wed: 226 lbs. (I weighed right when i got up. I hope that's just a morning thing and that i don't have AIDS or something.)

Monday, November 9, 2009

The tent that was selling these shirts was directly across from the Camel tent

-Please see title of blog.

...and yes, fuck you cancer.

Fun Fun Fun Fest Day 2, or, It's Hard To Hold A Camera In The Cold November Rain

This Will Destroy You

Bradford Cox of Atlas Sound (Somebody get this guy a fucking burrito!)

Atlas Sound

So, day 2 was wet, wet, wet. I realize that every blogger, tweeter, etc. have probably used that phrase or a variation there of. Please forgive me, but i have a sore throat from standing in the cold rain for 8 hours. This put a serious damper in my picture-taking ability, but fun was still had. Paige and i spent a good hour watching one muddy hill and the scores of people who ate shit trying to cross it. There were some spectacular falls, some spectacular saves, a pizza disaster, and, oh yeah, some music too. Here's the highlights:
-Atlas Sound
-Why? (I realize that i said Why? was a highlight on day 1, but they actually played on Sunday. I guess they were so good, they warped my fucking mind!)
-Mission Of Burma playing "That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate"
-The smoke and lights rave-up that is The Crystal Castles
-Brian Posehn's stand-up
-Brian Posehn bobbing his head watching Torche
-Brian Posehn bobbing his head in the mud with the rest of us schlubs at Danzig
-Motherfucking Danzig
-Eating a pizza and taking a shower!

Sun: 232 lbs.
Mon: 233 lbs.

Fun Fun Fun Fest Day 1, or, Fun Fun Fun Fest I Love You, But Your Hipsters Are Bringing Me Down

Tommy (in a scene played many, many times)


Crystal Antlers

Crystal Antlers

Shone Knife (I would totally be a Shonen Knife groupie. What?)

Kyle of The Sword

MC Chris

No Age


Fucked Up



Day 1 was absolutely beautiful. I wanna go ahead and say that every band or group or deejay we say were fantastic. The vibe to start the day off was really fun-loving. Unfortunately that changed as the day progressed. Ok, it was really only one performance. The crowd of hipster fuck-tards at the Ratatat show were some of rudest, smelliest, douche bag assholes i have ever had the displeasure of watching a concert with. Seriously, the moshing, headbanging crowd at Fucked Up were nicer than these pieces of shit. So, i don't care how cool you think you are, if you're gonna sport a moustache, don't do it ironically. It's soulless. The thousands of you out there know who you are. And looking like a homeless man sucks. The only benefit is that it gives awesome assholes like me something to laugh about. My wife suggested the game of "Homeless or Hipster." That's why she's awesome too. And finally, to the brainless piece of shit that was yelling for the band to play a song over and over again, that can be a little difficult when the bass amplifier's not working. Next time, pull the bong out of your ass before you come to the show. Whew, that was a bit of a tirade. I apologize. On a brighter note, here are some high of the highlights:

-Les Savy fav (Who knew a big, fat, bearded, bald guy would be such an awesome front man?)
-Fucked Up
-clean Porto-Potties
-Miller High Life (The beer, as i have not yet heard of a band with the same moniker.)

Oh, and Sat: 233 lbs.


Yours truly with Jon



Kiki and Bobby

Drew and Jon

You like ABBA? You like heavy metal? You like punk rock? You like big, bearded guys with big, fake tits in bunny suits? Why weren't you at the Scoot Inn on Friday night for some punk rock/heavy metal versions of ABBA tunes by a band with bearded dude in a bunny suit and fake tits? What? You had something better to do? Man, you're a loser.

Friday, November 6, 2009

What are you doing tonight?

Fri: 232 lbs.

Go see StABBA, the world's greatest ABBA heavy metal cover band, tonight at The Scoot Inn on East 4th St. for the Cherry Peel Fun Fun Fun Fest kickoff! They should go on around 9ish. And not to worry, there will be plenty of other bands and beer, sweet beer. I know i'll be there.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Oh Lordie, Who's i gonna see at Fun Fun Fun Fest 09

I'm sure no one really cares, but if you're at Waterloo Park in Austin this weekend, here's where you'll find me. Oh, and my dog just totally burped.


After waking up at 6:30 to go to work on a day that i asked off for over 3 months ago, banging my head against a desk for 4 hours, eating a taco or something, and drinking as much beer as possible before battling football fans (of which i am a member) and tailgaters for any available parking spots in the downtown area, i'll mosey on over to:

-Crystal Antlers at the Orange stage.
-I'll flip a coin and go to Shonen Knife at the Orange stage or VEGA at the Blue.
-MC Chris at the Blue, but it would be cool to see The Sword over at Black.
-No Age at the Orange
-Death at the Orange
-A real toss up for Neon Indian at Blue, Yeasayer at Orange, or Fucked Up at Black.
-Les Savy Fav at Orange.
-Then, do i watch part of Ratatat at Orange, or Jesus Lizard at Black, before finally shakin' my booty over to Blue for Pharcyde!

Then it's home to my burpy dog, more beer, and a couple of odd movies we picked up per the Alamo Drafthouse's suggestion.


There will be some park time for the dog, as well as some delicious taste explosions wrapped in tortillas (breakfast burritos from Casa Di Consuela on Burnet Rd. - try the avocado, potato, egg, and cheese or the chorizo, potato, egg, and cheese - you'll be full all day long). Then it's off to:

-This Will Destroy You at Orange, immediately followed by...
-Fuck Buttons, also at Orange.
-Atlas Sound at Orange. See the most appallingly skinny indie darling on the circuit! On a side note, if i wasn't such a fan of Atlas Sound, i'd totally be over at Yellow, watching Metallagher shred "Master of Puppets" whilst smashing watermelons.
-WHY? at Orange or Harlem at Yellow? Hmmmm.
-Broadcast at Orange. Man, is it me, or does the Orange stage have my shit all over it? Yah!
-Here's the most difficult choice of the weekend: Health at Blue? The King Khan and BBQ Show at Yellow? Torche at Black? Mission of Burma at Orange? What would you do?
-Crystal Castles at Orange.
-Brian Posehn at Yellow. Sorry GZA. I'll try to make it up to you.
-MOTHERFUCKING DANZIG at Black. Of Montreal, i'll miss you, but will think of you often when craving Outback Steakhouse.
-If they're still on, i guess i'll dance with the strobe lights and lasers out of the park to Kid Sister. Who? Yeah, i didn't know either.

And then more burpy dogs, and sleep, and work the next day. Fart.

Looking for a new job. Hrmph!

Thurs: 231 lbs. (pre-run)

Creating a new resume and looking for jobs sucks. Just FYI, for anyone out there who didn't realize that yet.

CANT/Arthur Russell split 7"

White Denim - "Fits"

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Halloween 09, Man Chest Hair United as KISS, and Sydney Dog

Man Chest Hair United are: Rob (Starchild), Ryan (Demon), Tom D (Spaceman), Mike D (Cat), and Donovan (one of those dudes from the 80's version of KISS)

Wed: 229 lbs. (no shit)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Pumpkin ale and the New Orleans Saints

So, that's what i kind of look like (albeit, 15 lbs. ago, sweating in a Dominican cigar shop).
Fri - Sat: ??? (too busy getting drunk in Houston, singing the Carpenters, and wearing a dress to KISS cover show!)

Sun: 234 lbs.

Mon: 233 lbs. (after much pumpkin ale!)

Tues: 229 lbs.

I'll admit i have a bit of a thing for the pumpkin ale. It rivals my passion for music and my wife. And it'll be off the shelves before we know it, so i intend to purchase cases of the stuff over the next few days...I'm the first to agree with you that i have a problem, but admittance is the start to recovery.

The New Orleans Saints are 7 and 0. Halle-fuckin-lujah!