Sydney

Yesterday was hard.  Yesterday was really, really hard.  Sydney had been showing signs of her age over the last couple of years, but in particular over the last few months.  And then things just took a nose dive these last few days.  We lost her on Saturday.

Sydney was my first dog.  I was 29 years old when we got her.  Paige had wanted us to get a pup for about as long as we had lived together, but i didn't want to until we were in a house with a yard.  After we were married, we rented a house in central Austin with said yard requirement, and it was time to adopt a dog for Paige.  We visited the shelter and saw and pet and played with a lot of dogs.  When we came across Sydney, whom the shelter had donned "Sally," she was timid and hyper and neurotic, but just felt right instantly.  We brought her home and basically became a family.

Fairly early on, it became apparent that she was MY dog.  I never really intended it to happen that way, but i very much became a dog person, or more succinctly, a Sydney person.  She had so much energy, and walks and hikes with the dog became a part of the daily routine.  I think this was her favorite time, with all the undivided attention.  Attention she would eventually have to share. 

Sydney concerned about this child we've brought into the house in 2013

Sydney was never 100% sold on this whole kids thing.  It took her a long while to get used to it, and while i don't think she ever fully did, she had her moments with both of the boys.

Napping with Ash

When Robbie came around, she was like, "Ugh, this again?"  But like before, she eventually came around, and no one would give Sydney scraps from the dinner table quite like Robbie...with the exception of maybe my mom or mother-in-law.

Sydney concerned about this other child we've brought into the house in 2016

And as much as the boys might have annoyed her, she still loved the family walks and hikes.  You would never see a more excited dog than when her leash came out.

Walking the green belt with Robbie

Yesterday, i cried harder than i have in a long, long time.  Maybe since when my dad died.  But one thing Sydney did give me was to put a smile on my dad's face when he was sick, before he passed away.  It was very shortly after we adopted her, and we had gone to visit my parents, check in on my dad's status, and introduce them to the dog.  Almost immediately, Sydney went to work licking my dad's face, kind of relentlessly, making him laugh and smile.  It's the last time i remember him doing so.

The next few days and weeks are going to be very strange.  Very hard and very strange.  The first time i come home from work or the grocery store or wherever, and she's not there at the door to greet me, prancing and wagging her tale.  When the alarm goes off at 6AM tomorrow, and there's nobody waiting patiently for me to get dressed and take her on a run or a walk.  When i'm making dinner, and there's no one standing right to the side of me, hoping i'll drop a piece on the floor.  All these things you kind of take for granted until they're not there anymore.  Things i'm going to miss every single day.

Sydney, you were my first dog, and i love you.  It's hard to even express how much i'm going to miss you.  There's a giant hole in my heart right now.  And it's weird, but i think in some ways i'm a better person for having had the privilege of getting these last 13 years with you, of getting to be a dog person, of getting to be a Sydney person.