Thursday, December 31, 2009

So long '09

Thurs: 233 lbs.

Ok, so after much deliberation and scapegoating of the holidays, the flu, the cold, the rainy weather, and the pope, i've decided that i need to up the seriousness of my runs and workouts. That is to say, i actually need to start doing it.

Anyway, no plans tonight. So long 2009. Don't let the proverbial doorknob hit you in the proverbial ass on the way out.

I'll have a drink for all of you tonight.


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hay mi estomaga!

Wed: 232 lbs.

So, weather permitting, i'm going to run today.

So, stomach permitting as well, i'm going to run today.

I'm getting lazy, and that's not good.


"Funny People" - Finally saw Apatow's latest. I really liked it. A bunch of folks didn't, but to me it felt like the most personal thing he's ever done. I especially enjoyed the fake movie posters and movie clips that Sandler's character is in, because goddammit, you know he's done shit like that.

"Observe and Report" - We apparently had a Seth Rogen double feature last night. Here's another film that i've read and heard nothing good about, but i liked it. It's an odd little movie, and it was marketed all wrong.

My dog is spazzing out next to me. It's kind of funny.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Post holiday hangover

Tues: 231 lbs.
So, maybe i didn't run today. But it was raining/sleeting and it was cold, so fuck you. There's always manana. If it's good for the Mexicans in that Kerouac novel, it's good enough for me.
-The Almighty Defenders - King Khan, Mark Sultan (BBQ Show), and The Black Lips join forces to bring you some Garage Gospel Punk! Hearing it on repeat may make your head explode!
Get a free download of "Cone of Light" here!
-The Smith Westerns - I kind of crapped on these guys at first, but now i'm hooked. Google 'em. You'll probably find some free music all over the place.
-Skinny Puppy - "Last Rites" - I loved this album when i was in high school, and it's now available on vinyl reissue! For the first time! Gothic Industrial Dance'll tear your face off and then dig it's fingers around in the wound.

Monday, December 28, 2009

A few Christmas pics

Mon: 231 lbs. (about to climb back on that workout horse)

Here's the aforementioned snow pics:

A big pile of family members and dogs.

Snoop Paigey Paige

Drew about to introduce me to a snow drift.
Oh, and i guess i should thank the Chicago Bears for beating the Vikings overtime to give New Orleans the number 1 seed in the playoffs since we couldn't seem to do it ourselves for two weekends in a row. Thanks guys.
Cutler's still a crybaby though.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Stuck in Oklahoma?

So far, 11 inches of snow have fallen today. It's just after 5:00 PM and it's still snowing.

Whoo-hoo! Five day weekend!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry Christmas

I'll be out of pocket for a few days. I'm going to Oklahomo to visit my sister and her family. It should turn out to be a great 6 hour car trip with my wife, my brother, my mom, my dog, and myself all crammed in there. Sweet.

So, happy holidays to you and yours. Here'a a little Run DMC.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Top 5 B-Movies I can think of right now

Mon: 230 lbs.

It's getting really hard to run, what with the holidays and family and a thousand other things. I seem to have plateaued around 228 lbs. to 231 lbs. Guess it's time to start smoking crystal meth!

Anyway, here's a few B-Movies that i really like:

1. "Phantom of The Paradise" - Early DePalma is awesome DePalma. He hadn't gotten a chance to suck yet. The film is basically a rock opera version of Phantom of The Opera meets Faust with an awesome glam rock soundtrack. Paul Williams plays a record exec who sells his soul to the devil for success. He wrote and sings a lot of the music, and he also happens to be the writer of "The Rainbow Connection." Totally over the top.

2. "Coffy" - Pamela "Motherfucking" Greer is Coffy. This is the best blaxsploitation flick i've ever seen. It's terrifically un-PC in every way possible. Oh, and look for a young Sid Haig in a supporting thug role.

3. "Lifeforce" - The movie that killed Tobe Hooper's career was originally supposed to be called "Space Vampires," and that would have been just as awesome. Look for Patrick Stewart coming on to another man, a shitload of nudity, and soundtrack by Henry Mancini.

4. "Zombi 2" - I've gotta put some Fulci in here, so here's the best. If you wanna see a slow shot of a shard of wood gouging some one's eye out, or a zombie fight a tiger shark underwater, then this is the movie for you.

5. "Black Christmas" - Please, please, please try to forget the awful remake of this classic. Bob Clark basically invents the modern slasher genre here 2 years before Leatherface, 4 years before Michael Myers, and 6 years before Jason Voorhees. Look for a young Margot "Lois Lane" Kidder, and remember that this same director would make "A Christmas Story" 9 years later.

I'll think of some more later.

Sunday, December 20, 2009


I guess all pipe dreams come to an end eventually. Let us never speak of this game again. No football boner for me.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Let's all beat the crap out of the Dallas Cowboys! How about it?

Here's hoping my Saints can win home field advantage for the playoffs and throw some mud in Jerry Jones's eye while they're doing it. I'm a proud member of the "Who Dat Nation!"

I want the Cowboys to go down like a Boise St. player after a Blount sucker punch!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

And now...Mark Sanchez eating a hotdog!

Banjo Or Freakout Save Christmas!

Here's an early Christmas present since you've been so good this year. Banjo Or Freakout have put together a fantastically spaced out Christmas record. It's great, and you can download the whole thing for free right here.

Ho Ho Ho!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Favorite Sports Scandal of the Year!

Tiger Woods having 40 million different affairs? Pshaw! That's not scandal, that's an episode of Sesame Street when compared to HOT DOG-GATE!!!

Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, formerly of USC fame, and now of New York Jets fame was chastised for eating a hot dog on the sideline during a game against the Oakland Raiders.

Later, when questioned about the incident, Mark responded that he had not felt well that morning and couldn't eat breakfast. As the game proceeded though, he got hungry, got a hot dog from the stands, put some mustard on it (above), and ate it (as discreetly as possible).

He also added that he, "probably just should have eaten one of those power bars or something."
(Since i'm an idiot, and new at this whole in-ter-net(?) thing, please give me couple of days to figure out how to put actual video footage of hot dog mastication on my blog. Smiley-face.)

My dog is staring at me.

Wed: 228 lbs. (That's more like it.)


Animal C0llective - "Fall Be Kind" EP: What a great year for these guys. The started it with my personal favorite record of the year, and end it with a great EP.

Pearl Harbor - "Something About the Chaparrals" 12": Another fine release from our friends over at Mexican Summer.

PENS/Dum Dum Girls/Crocodiles/Graffiti Island 7" split: Great bands. Great record.

And yes, my dog is indeed staring at me right at this moment. It's a bit unnerving. She's been running today. And, she's gone to the park. So, i don't know what her problem is. We're watching a VH1 (ugh!) documentary about N.W.A., so maybe that's making her disrespect my authority, cause she's straight outta the dog pound!

I'm a nerd.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

This is one of my most favorite things ever.

ATL RMX at Adult Swim and fake weddings

Sun: 233 lbs. (gotta stop drinking so much beer)

You like Hotlanta hip-hop? Of course you do. You like indie deejays and what not? Sure. Go to Adult Swim to download their newest compilation. Young Jeezy, Gorilla Zoe, and Lil Jon do battle with Flying Lotus, El-P, Memory Tapes, Salem and more, more, more! And it's free! Hooray!

My friend got fake married in a fake ceremony last night in a real pub by an actual ordained minister dressed like Wyatt Earp. Excellent.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bad Movies

What to watch tonight? What the hell to watch?

Bad movie night has become a tradition amongst my friends and i for the last 7 years. It started when Paige, my buddies Doug and Marty, and i tried to go see "Reign of Fire" in the theater. That would be the Mathew McConaughey/Christian Bale dragon movie. Yes, that "Reign of Fire." Anyway, it was fucking sold out! We couldn't fucking believe it! So, we went to the video store and rented "Glitter" (the Mariah Carey movie) and John McTiernen's remake of "Roller Ball." (Sadly, "Glitter" was better.)

Now we do it all the time. Lots and lots of horrible films have been viewed and mocked, but none will top "The Room." I can't even describe it. Everything about the thing is awful. The acting sucks. The dialogue is terrible. The cinematography looks like a bad Lifetime movie. And there's no narrative cohesiveness (and not in the arty-farty way). It's the worst movie i've ever seen...and it's fucking hilarious.

I've got to watch it again sometime. Nothing's going to come close to topping it until Paige and i finally screen our Ultimate Uwe Boll Night.

But i've gotta get prepped for that kind of trip.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fantastic Mr. Fox

So, like Nancy Kerrigan, i was unable to perform tonight. No redneck related injuries or anything like that. The ice rink we went to was very, very small, and we have now opted to visit a larger rink on Sunday afternoon. So there's still time for me to win my silver yet.

Instead we saw "Fantastic Mr. Fox," and at the risk of sounding like some dullard movie reviewer, it was indeed, fantastic. Ugh. Anyway, i absolutely loved it. The previews made it look like Wes Anderson movie, just animated. And that's exactly what it is, from the British invasion soundtrack to Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman. And as an added bonus, Jarvis Cocker is in it...and he sings a song...about foxes. Excellent film. I need to get a bandit mask.

And, a fake wedding reception at a pub, and bad movie night.

Like a crowbar to the knee

So, i'm taking my wife ice skating tonight. I've never been before. I suck at roller skating. This ought to be great!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Favorite 44 Songs of 2009 (i couldn't think of anymore)

Thurs: 231 lbs. I swear to God, i'm harvesting fat for winter time. But enough of that. Here's the songs i really liked this year:
1. Zombi - "Spirit Animal"
2. Dan Deacon - "Snookered"
3. The Big Pink - "Velvet" (or also try the Gang Gang Dance Remix)
4. Steve Wilson - "Significant Other"
5. MF Doom - "That's That"
6. Radiohead - "These Are My Twisted Words"
7. Fuck Buttons - "Surf Solar"
8. Animal Collective - "In The Flowers"
9. Animal Collective - "My Girls"
10. Woods - "Rain On Radio"
11. Girls - "Hellhole Ratrace"
12. Girls - "Solitude"
13. Ganglians - "Valiant Brave"
14. Best Coast - "Sun Was High (So Was I)"
15. Neon Indian - "Should Have Taken Acid With You"
16. Sufjan Stevens - "You Are The Blood"
17. The Flaming Lips - "Watching The Planets"
18. The Flaming Lips - "The Sparrow Looks Up At The Machine"
19. Aceyalone - "Lonely Ones"
20. Jarvis Cocker - "I Never Said I Was Deep"
21. The Crocodiles - "I Wanna Kill"
22. Crystal Antlers - "Several Tongues"
23. Fever Ray - "Seven"
24. Atlas Sound - "Walkabout"
25. Muse - "I Belong To You"
26. Mos Def - "Auditorium"
27. NASA - "Strange Enough"
28. The Paperchase - "This Is Only A Test (The Tornado)"
29. The Very Best - "Kada Manja"
30. Why? - "Into The Shadows Oh My Embrace"
31. Antony & The Johnsons - "Crazy In Love" (yes, it's a cover of that "Crazy In Love")
32. Stardeath & White Dwarfs - "Smoking Pot Makes Me Not Want To Kill Myself"
33. Fucked Up - "No Epiphany (No Age Remix)"
34. Wavves - "So Bored"
35. The Bananas - "Gentrification For Dummies"
36. Subway - "Xam"
37. Harlem - "South Of France"
38. Health - "Die Slow"
39. Salem - "Frost"
40. Little Girls - "History"
41. Twisted Wires - "Oh Hell"
42. Sun Araw - "Horse Steppin"
43. Kurt Vile - "Beach On The Moon (Recycled Lyrics)"
44. Real Estate - "Beach Comber"

And i guess i'll make up one for #45. I wrote a song this year called, "Legends and Histories," and i like it a lot. So there's 45!


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009


Now, i don't mean to sound gay or anything, but i love John Purves.

Let me clarify. John has been a friend of mine since 7th grade. He and i were roommates in college (before McCoy and Shipley there was Williams and Purves), we were in each other's weddings, la la la. Anyway, John decided to blow his wad on a sports package to see the National Championship game on Jan 7th. Yeah, the Texas - Alabama game. And he asked me to accompany him. So i'm goin' to Pasadena mofos!

I might have to do some stuff i never thought i'd have to do to repay the man.

Between Texas and New Orleans this weekend, i almost had a Goddamn heart attack!

Mon: 230 lbs. (hmmmmm)

So look at the title of this blog. Texas barely won the Big 12 Title game to Nebraska by kicking a field goal with 1 second left on the clock (due to some time mismanagement by the usually stellar McCoy). Then on Sunday, the now 12 - 0 Saints were able to defeat the now 3 - 9 Redskins in overtime. My dog doesn't like me to yell, but how can i not. Oh, and when the Cowboys game preempted my New Orleans game with a minute and half left with the Saints driving to tie the game, yeah, that sucked too.

There is now a throbbing vein in my forehead.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Sun: 230 lbs.


The Holy Mountain

I just watched "The Holy Mountain."

Evidently, after some college football, i like to wind down with some avant garde film making. Anyway, this is the weirdest movie i've ever seen in my life. And i was a film major for God's sake. I've seen weird. All those college kids who think they're the next David Lynch? I've seen their films, and "Holy Mountain" is weirder. It's like a Luis Bunuel film on even more acid.

OK, so there's a seen where a thief (who looks like Jesus and who's already been crucified) craps into a glass bowl, and is then sealed into a glass chamber. The crap is then burned, and the smoke from said burned crap is then pumped through tubes that connect to the glass chamber that our Jesus metaphor is locked in.

There's also a scene where a naked woman with an afro fucks a giant computer with a 6 ft. dildo, and the computer cums.

Oh, and let's not forget the jump cutting between a bull fucking a cow and a woman getting laying on the ground getting smacked in the mouth with a fist until a pound of fluid (semen?) splashes down on her head.

We end with a group of strange men dressed in blue in the middle of a mountain setting flipping over a table and saying, "enough of the holy mountain," onto something real. Indeed.

If you're going to watch this film, please smoke a shitload of weed before you do. Or, at least drop some acid. It's what it's for.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

13 - 12 Texas! Holy Shit!

I almost pooped myself. We looked like shit, but we won with a field goal in the last second of the game. Now i'm listening to sports pundits say that Texas might get passed up by TCU or Cincinnati to go to the national championship game. Hell, Chris Fowler is still saying that Florida could go. FAH Q!!!!!!!

Yeah, it was ugly. Utter poop. But if i don't see an Alabama/Texas national championship game, i'm calling shenanigans! Maybe Bama will kick the crap out of us. But we should be there.

So, since you didn't ask for it, here are my BCS bowl projections:

National Championship Game: Alabama vs. Texas
Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Ohio St.
Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma St. vs. Boise St. (or maybe, that would piss Idaho off)
Sugar Bowl: Florida vs. TCU
Orange Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Georgia Tech

So there.


Wow! The Texas defense has held Nebraska to a total of 32 yards of offense in the first half of the Big 12 Championship game. And that would be great if our offense wasn't sucking so much cock. Four 3-and-outs, a blocked punt, two interceptions by Heisman contender Colt McCoy, and just general all-around Greg Davis suckery.

You know that play that Texas runs all the time where the QB does a quick, short vertical pass to the wide receiver behind the line of scrimmage? You know. That one that never, ever works? Yeah, well we've run that twice already tonight. One for a loss, and the other incomplete (although had Kirkendoll caught it, he would have immediately been nailed by two Nebraska defenders).

This game is giving me a headache. At least i've got beer. And the presumption that at least five new "Fire Greg Davis" websites or blogs have popped up over the 30 minutes.

Hook 'em Horns!


Shut up you fucking baby! or, Tim Tebow's a bitch.

So, i'm home from work and watching a little SEC championship, and i love what' happening to Tim Tebow and Florida. I love it. It's a little unfortunate that Texas won't get to play them now, because all of America wanted to see a McCoy/Tebow showdown, but it's lovely to see the disdain and bitter tears that are welling up in those little Tebow eyes. Thank Christ he's a senior, and we won't have to hear the national sports media sucking his dick anymore. "What about the NFL?" you may ask. If he makes it, he'll be a mediocre tight end at best. So long Tim. I'd say it was great knowing ya, but i'd be lying through my asshole. I hope TCU knocks you on your ass during the Sugar Bowl. Bitch.
Oh, and in a non-Tim Tebow bashing aside, check out the new album by Blakroc. It's got The Black Keys playing their standard psychedelic blues rock, but with rapping from the likes of Mos Def, Raekwon, the RZA, and more. Possible the last great record of the year. But, there is an Animal Collective EP waiting in the wings.
Fuck Tebow.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Snow? Not really.

Thurs: 230 lbs.
Fri: 230 lbs.

I think my winter time fat is getting thicker and heavier. That being said, i guess it should have protected me from the cold and snow today. Snow that lasted for about 20 minutes before the sun came out and the clouds all went away. Snow. Pfft.

Topaz Rags - "Capricorn Born Again" LP
Sex Worker - "The Labor of Love" LP
Dylan Ettinger & The Heat - "Smokin" 7"

Check out Not Not Fun Records for these and more bitchin albums. They've got all kinds of droney, experimental rock records. Great for doing drugs to (if you're in to that kind of thing, ahem).

Also listening:
Madvillain - "Madvillainy" CD
Big Business - "Mind The Drift" CD
Madlib - "Beat Konducta In India" CD
Jane - "Berserker" LP (Noah Lennox, aka Panda Bear from Animal Collective)
This Will Destroy You - s/t LP

-So, i apparently enjoy heavy metal, hip-hop, experimental psychedelic rock, and moody, atmospheric ambient music. I am so much cooler than you are. But don't worry, i'm out of shape, and i have a funny looking beard.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Went running this morning...almost threw up

Wed: 228 lbs.

So after a 3 week sabbatical, i officially began working out again today. Unfortunately, i made an egregious error in judgement before doing so. Last night, i had 3 or 4 too many cocktails while watching "The Silent Partner" (awesome film by the way), so there was a lot of alcohol still in my brain this morning. Evidently, the running made the delayed hangover begin. Yea! I also drank a great big glass of chocolate milk this morning when i got up. Bad idea. So, today i learned that running with milk in the belly (even an hour later) causes bad things to happen. I had to stop at a mile and a half because i could taste the chocolate coming back up in my throat. I truly am a special man.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

38 - 17!

The New Orleans Saints defeated the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football 38 to 17. Drew Brees threw for 371 yards and 5 touchdowns to 5 different receivers.

Tom Brady looked like a bitch...or a drowned cat.

Shit yeah!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Night Football

Mon: 231 lbs.

Need to go running badly. My beer belly's bringing me down. But anyway, the Saints play the Patriots tonight on MNF. This one is huge, and i really want to celebrate with some beers tonight, rather drown my sorrows in said beers. So fuck you Pats! Who Dat?!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Underrated: Faith No More's "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime"

So, since it's raining here, and the powers that be apparently do not want me to run (thanks big guys), here's a little bit about this horrifically underrated album.
Everyone knows Faith No More for their giant radio hit "Epic" from 1989's "The Real Thing." By 1992, the boys released "Angel Dust," which while it didn't hit the glammy rap-rock peaks of their hit, progressed into unforeseen territories due to Mike Patton's growing involvement in the song writing process. Rumor has it that guitarist Jim Martin was phoning in his parts, not wanting to be in the same room as Patton. "Angel Dust" went on to be a highly tauted influence on a lot of emerging bands (unfortunately, a lot of those bands came from the nu-metal movement, but i'll forgive Faith No More for that).
1995. Cobain is in the ground, and the musical landscape he unintentionally created has become a cultural wasteland of Goo Goo Dolls and Collective Souls. Enter "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime." Jim Martin is gone, and guitar duties are now in the hands of John Zorn contributor Trey Spruance. Gone are the rap-rock posturings and day-glo clothing. The record consists of 14 tracks that run the gauntlet of musical tastes and styles. It feels more radio friendly, yet more experimental at the same time. It's a mix of prog rock, metal, lounge, punk, noise, and then closes gloriously on "Just A Man" with a gospel choir.
With Mike Patton now behind the wheel, the band were able to take on the much more experimental path they had begun to forge with "Angel Dust." And that's a good thing. Of course the album bombed. No one bought it. Radio play was menial. Critics turned their noses up. And long time fans of the band cried "shenanigans!" And that's bullshit. It's the perfect companion piece to "Angel Dust." People criticized the lyrics, especially on "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies." Look at the title. If your expecting James Joyce, you're an idiot. Faith No More's lyrics have always been stupid. How is "Don't you look so surprised, happy birthday fucker," any crappier than "It's it, what is it? It's is, what is it," or "Surprise, you're dead?" The answer, it's not. You don't listen to a Faith No More album (or anything by Mike Patton for that matter) for the lyrics. You listen to it for awesome prog rock inspired madness.
So, if you gave up on Faith No More after "King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime," go back and listen to it again, unbiased. Or if you know nothing about the band except for "Epic," now's the time to check the record out...and "Angel Dust" too. Who knows, maybe you'll dig it and move on to Mr. Bungle or Patton's collaborations with avant saxophonist John Zorn, or maybe you'll just listen Lady GaGa like usual. I'm not judging.

So much food

Sat: 230 lbs.
Sun: 227 lbs.
I've eaten so much in the last 5 days: tacos, BBQ, meats and cheeses, turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato souffle, fudge, pies, and on, and on. I gotta go run tonight, but i'm totally going to eat some tacos from Enchiladas Y Mas first. Oh yeah.

I'll be back later.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving nears

Tues: 230 lbs.


Just picked up a new 7" by Ganglians and another by James Pants. Also grabbed a vinyl copy of The Pixies' "Surfer Rosa" (i just had to), the new Yeasayer 12" single for "Ambling Alp," and a new 12" by Zombi.

Oh, and check out "Unexpected Guests" by MF Doom (i know he's had his MF removed, but it's force of habit). It's a compilation of non-album tracks he's done over the years. Fucking awesome!

If i miss ya before Turkey Day, eat a ton for me!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Top 10 Favorite TV Shows

Mon: 230 lbs.

So, i don't really watch that much television, although i will go through spurts, and i was pretty much glued to the screen when i was a kid, but i thought i'd do some serious soul searching and tally up the programs that i absolutely adore (in an i can watch them over and over type way). And here they are in no particular order:

1. "MTV's The State"
The State is quite possibly my favorite show of all time. It started when i was 14 or 15 years old and molded my sense of humor into the absurdist retard throwing rocks that it is today. Only The Simpsons rivals it's all out effect on me and the random references i make in everyday conversation. "I wanna dip my balls in it," indeed.
2. "The Simpsons"
This should be fairly obvious. 20 years later and it's still fucking hilarious. And i can't really think of any other show that is still brilliant even in it's off years (I'm looking at you Saturday Night Live).
3. "Twin Peaks"
So fucking weird, but so fucking good. This is David Lynch's masterpiece. Fuck his films (and that's really hard for me to say), Twin Peaks is practically perfect, and will drive you insane since it was cancelled on a cliffhanger.
4. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"/"Angel"
So i'm cheating a little by putting these 2 shows as one selection, but come on. Characters moved from one show to the other, instances on one show would have ramifications on the other, and while the themes and moods of the shows varied, the sense of humor and brilliance of Joss Whedon shines on both equally.
5. "Freaks and Geeks"
Only 18 episodes of glory. We all overlooked this gem (myself included) and that only makes cancellation harder to swallow. Judd Apatow. James Franco. Seth Rogen. Linda Cardelini. Busy Phillips. Jason Segel. Martin fucking Starr! Everyone on this show was the shit. And we're all finally realizing it.
6. "South Park"
South Park will eventually rival The Simpsons for it's longevity and consistency. 12 years later, i still laugh my ass off, and we need someone to constantly push the boundaries of good taste. I can think of no other show that would have the balls to shove Paris Hilton up some one's ass, mock Christopher Reeve, use the word "fag" over and over again to prove a point, or put 2 crippled kids in a fist fight. Fuck yeah!
7. "Quantum Leap"
Going back to childhood for this one. My absolute favorite show as a kid, i waited every week to see who Sam was gonna be this time. They may have jumped the shark when he leaped into Lee Harvey Oswald, or a vampire, or Dr. Ruth, or a 16 year old version of himself, but dammit, it was fun.
8. "Mr. Show"
Continuing in the tradition of The State, absurdity reigns supreme. Bob Odenkirk and David Cross continue to make me laugh now, but cock ring warehouse commercials, shitting at a restaurant dinner table, and a sausage-bodied super fan declaring himself the coolest kid in the world are still some of the funniest sketches i've ever seen.
9. "News Radio"
Dave Foley, Stephen Root, Phil Hartman, Andy Dick, Maura Tierney, Joe Rogen, Vicki Lewis, and Khandi Alexander did some of the best work of their careers on this show. It's still funny 10 years later.
10. "Lost"
I thought this show was gonna be stupid, but i watched the first episode out of mere curiosity. I've been hooked ever since. One more season to go, and i really don't need answers. Just give me some hints.
There are plenty of runners up, but i don't feel like listing them. Well, okay, "King of the Hill," "Arrested Development," and "The Muppet Show." You're all good too.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Tomorrow, I start a bunch of random, meaningless lists. Hooray?

Sun: 230 lbs.

It's now been over 2 weeks since i last worked out, due to an abomination known as a "mild flu" or "bad cold." And while that's kind of awesome, it's what our Spanish speaking friends would call, "No Bueno." Time to get back on that horse (ie, my tennis shoes) and run til i puke.

Speaking of puke, we totally just finished eating some Hamburger Helper. My wife said she had never had it before. I, on the other hand, grew up eating the stuff. So, yes it's true. My wife married below her station. This is how the other half live. (I'm exaggerating of course. Hamburger Helper is really fucking easy to make, and it's really not bad. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking snob, and you should stomp on his or her testicles or ovaries.)

Oh, yeah, and i'm starting a bunch of stupid lists tomorrow. I'm sure you've always wondered what my favorite 100 albums are. No? Well, you're gonna have to read it anyway.

Friday, November 20, 2009


Fri: 231 lbs.

I've got nothing. Probably just gonna watch movies tonight. Workin for the weekend, and not in a cool 80's Loverboy montage type way, but rather in a mundane, sitting in an office, unable to watch college football type way.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I just got off a 12 and a half hour shift of work. Fuck you.

Am i pooping in this picture? You decide.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mexican Summer

Tues: 232 lbs.
Wed: 227 lbs.

Washed Out - "Life of Leisure" EP
Bipolar Bear - "Harlem Pripyat" LP
Them Crooked Vultures CD
Big Business - "Here Come The Waterworks" CD

"Southern Comfort" - Weekend warriors get butchered in a Louisiana swamp by some angry Cajuns.
"Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia" - Warren Oates bloodies up the Mexican countryside in this Sam Peckinpah classic.

"Snuff" by Chuck Palahniuk
"Pigeon Feathers" by John Updike

If you've got a vinyl boner like me, go check out Mexican Summer (an offshoot of Kemado Records) for some awesome records. If it's not in stock, check out your local independent music store or ebay if you're desperate. Shah!

Monday, November 16, 2009

A hibernating bear awakens after several days

I've lost count of what days i missed with the weight update, but for today,
Mon: 232 lbs.

I guess you don't lose weight when you're eating your mom's food for a day. Ahh, bacon, sweet, sweet bacon, how i missed thee. So, still reeling from the cold/flu (although no swine were to be found), and i haven't worked out in over a week. Feeling a little bit like a bum, but hey, what do you do?

Longhorns still undefeated. Booyah! Saints still undefeated. Booyah again! And the Colts beat the Patriots last night in 4 of the finest minutes of football i've ever seen. 4th and 2! Booyah!

(I'm gonna stop saying "booyah" now. I don't think it really works for me. How about Cowabunga?)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I'm sick. It sucks.

Tues: 232 lbs.
Wed: 226 lbs. (I weighed right when i got up. I hope that's just a morning thing and that i don't have AIDS or something.)

Monday, November 9, 2009

The tent that was selling these shirts was directly across from the Camel tent

-Please see title of blog.

...and yes, fuck you cancer.

Fun Fun Fun Fest Day 2, or, It's Hard To Hold A Camera In The Cold November Rain

This Will Destroy You

Bradford Cox of Atlas Sound (Somebody get this guy a fucking burrito!)

Atlas Sound

So, day 2 was wet, wet, wet. I realize that every blogger, tweeter, etc. have probably used that phrase or a variation there of. Please forgive me, but i have a sore throat from standing in the cold rain for 8 hours. This put a serious damper in my picture-taking ability, but fun was still had. Paige and i spent a good hour watching one muddy hill and the scores of people who ate shit trying to cross it. There were some spectacular falls, some spectacular saves, a pizza disaster, and, oh yeah, some music too. Here's the highlights:
-Atlas Sound
-Why? (I realize that i said Why? was a highlight on day 1, but they actually played on Sunday. I guess they were so good, they warped my fucking mind!)
-Mission Of Burma playing "That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate"
-The smoke and lights rave-up that is The Crystal Castles
-Brian Posehn's stand-up
-Brian Posehn bobbing his head watching Torche
-Brian Posehn bobbing his head in the mud with the rest of us schlubs at Danzig
-Motherfucking Danzig
-Eating a pizza and taking a shower!

Sun: 232 lbs.
Mon: 233 lbs.

Fun Fun Fun Fest Day 1, or, Fun Fun Fun Fest I Love You, But Your Hipsters Are Bringing Me Down

Tommy (in a scene played many, many times)


Crystal Antlers

Crystal Antlers

Shone Knife (I would totally be a Shonen Knife groupie. What?)

Kyle of The Sword

MC Chris

No Age


Fucked Up



Day 1 was absolutely beautiful. I wanna go ahead and say that every band or group or deejay we say were fantastic. The vibe to start the day off was really fun-loving. Unfortunately that changed as the day progressed. Ok, it was really only one performance. The crowd of hipster fuck-tards at the Ratatat show were some of rudest, smelliest, douche bag assholes i have ever had the displeasure of watching a concert with. Seriously, the moshing, headbanging crowd at Fucked Up were nicer than these pieces of shit. So, i don't care how cool you think you are, if you're gonna sport a moustache, don't do it ironically. It's soulless. The thousands of you out there know who you are. And looking like a homeless man sucks. The only benefit is that it gives awesome assholes like me something to laugh about. My wife suggested the game of "Homeless or Hipster." That's why she's awesome too. And finally, to the brainless piece of shit that was yelling for the band to play a song over and over again, that can be a little difficult when the bass amplifier's not working. Next time, pull the bong out of your ass before you come to the show. Whew, that was a bit of a tirade. I apologize. On a brighter note, here are some high of the highlights:

-Les Savy fav (Who knew a big, fat, bearded, bald guy would be such an awesome front man?)
-Fucked Up
-clean Porto-Potties
-Miller High Life (The beer, as i have not yet heard of a band with the same moniker.)

Oh, and Sat: 233 lbs.