You learn a lot about your body as you get older. Evidently, I’m one of those guys whose weight seems to fluctuate back and forth like I’m a method actor gaining and shedding pounds incessantly for roll after roll. I bounce all over the scale: 30 lbs. one way and then 25 lbs. the other, another 40 lbs. one way and then 45 lbs. back down again. It’s probably unhealthy. And as of late, I’ve been residing on the larger side, actually at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been before. Blame it on the years working a desk job, or the fact that I just really, really love beer and food. Whatever. I keep waiting for that pendulum to swing back the other way, but I’m afraid it’s going to need a much firmer push than usual. Diet and exercise it is then.
Suck.
And how do I mentally and physically prepare myself to do this?
If a misspent 45 years watching ‘80s movies has taught me anything, it’s that if I want to accomplish something, I’m going to a need a bitchin’ training montage to get myself there. So, why not use the ‘80s synth pop staple “Send Me an Angel” by Real Life? It worked for Jason Bateman in Teen Wolf Too.
I can see it all now: intercut scenes of me running, doing crunches, lifting weights, eating salads, and turning down desserts. Let’s do this people.
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